One Favorite Day {A Letter of Sorts}

Dear December 2, 2014,

You came like any other day.  Chilly & - okay, down right cold...  I had planned you as a typical Tuesday.  I wasn't expecting much from you.  In fact, I confess {with a blush}, at first I thought you were quite ordinary.  

At 7:09 PM I somewhat nervously sent a little 27 word {including my closing greeting & name} e-mail to a then unknown guy on a Christian dating website.  Yes, I know, I had said I'd never go on one of those {again}.  And, yes, you're right, I don't like to be the first one to reach out.  But, this guy's profile really caught my eye.  From his words, he seemed to genuinely love & seek after Christ & wanted Him to be the center of any relationship.  So, I hit send at 7:09.  Oh, dear 12/2/14, I honestly didn't expect anything to come of you!

Getting ever closer to the end of you, at 10:48 PM, a reply landed in my inbox!  I very nervously read over his 113 sweet words + a smiley face.  {Yes, it's weird that I did a word count & know the precise time {but it's pretty easily done in the digital age}, & what do you care?  It doesn't get must stranger than writing to a calendar date, anyhow.}

I still did not know, as you quietly melted into the next day in the quiet of those early hours, that you were a very special day.  It takes perspective sometimes, I guess.  But, now, looking back on you December 2, 2014 from the day of September 19, 2015, I know it.  You are special.  You are a favorite day.  After countless e-mails, then phone calls, then visits & adventures, then a "yes" to be his girlfriend, sweet days & hard ones, too...  Yes, you are right & wise in your aged-ness, I still don't know what the future days hold or if they will be as sweet as you were, but I hope.  And, yes, I know, God does, indeed, hold all my days in His hands.

Thank you, December 2, 2014, for being a sweet surprise I could have never planned.

Love,
-Bess-

Dear Single Christmas Girl, {Repost}

I first penned this back in 2010 & it remains one of my favorite posts... &, yep, it still applies to me.  If it applies to you, too, I pray this letter stirs encouragement in your soul this Christmas & into the new year.  Immanuel, God is with us.

Dear Single Christmas Girl,

I know you… forced to hold your own mittened hands to keep them warm.  You walk wistfully under suspended mistletoe & let out a small inner sigh… I know you, because I’m you, too.

Christmas & other holidays can be especially trying on the single girl’s heart.  So many secular seasonal songs that blast over the buzz of shoppers & invade our radios tell us that being with someone at Christmas is downright required for true happiness.  Take a look:

“When we finally kiss goodnight/ How I'll hate going out in the storm!/ But if you'll really hold me tight/ All the way home I'll be warm” (Let it Snow).

“My world is filled with cheer, & you/...& as I look around/ Your eyes outshine the town, they do/This Christmas” (This Christmas).

“I'm just gonna keep on waiting/ Underneath the mistletoe…/ Baby all I want for Christmas is you” (All I Want for Christmas is You).

I want to stick my tongue out at singlehood (& these songs, too=)!

Take a peek at what the Bible tells us…

The Lord appears to Joseph in a dream instructing him to take Mary as his wife as planned, because what is done in her is of God. Matthew 1:23 reads, “‘The virgin will be with child & will give birth to a son, & they will call Him Immanuel’ – which means ‘God with us.’” This Christmas you may feel un-chosen, lonely, not special, or unworthy of a guy’s second glance, but know this & consider it deeply in your heart this year: the Maker of the universe & all things, the King of Kings, Mighty God, Heavenly Father loved (insert name) so much that He gave you a piece of Him on earth – a piece that would be like (insert name)… tired, hungry, tempted, sad, excited, disappointed, happy, lonely… a piece that would be beaten, abused, mocked, & crucified, just so (insert name) could have the opportunity to know real peace & be with Him forever. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never heard of a truer love than that! It makes the lyrics above seem like mere meaningless mumbles.

Listen to what this song tells us…

Did you catch that lyric? “How many gods have poured out their hearts/ To romance a world that is torn all apart?” (How Many Kings, Downhere). God is still with us today, loving us in spite of us, & seeking our love so that we can experience eternity safe from pain, hurt, & free from all the tears of this earth & the afterlife that scorches. Even if you are (like me) going through a boyfriend-less Christmas, remember “Immanueal… God is with us.” You may appear solo to the world, but if you are God’s you’re never alone.

Love & the Merriest of Christmases,

-Bess- + Her King, {Truest Love} Father God

P.S.: His love is perfect, immeasurably better than any mortal man's... just think How Many Kings...

Bess in the Singular

It's no surprise around here, I'm single.  I mean really, really single.  I mean - oh, yeah, I guess you get the point.  I've pretty much always been solo in the world's eyes, but God's always with me so I'm never really alone - really.

I remember the 1st time this guy {9-10 years my senior & not a Christian} whispered in my ear that he "wanted to be my boyfriend," & I gave my timeless answer of "get in line" - to which, he responded, "I was here first," which gave me a cringing creepy feeling of being viewed as real estate or the prime spot in a McDonald's drive thru line {or something}.  Needless to say, I remained in my single status, despite his, um, boyfriend declaration.

This past February {several years after the above atheistic fellow (Why do I seem to attract the Charles Darwin type?)}, snow days hit hard & I found myself going stir crazy.  In said craziness, I did something I had said I would never do: I signed up for a free trial on a Christian dating website {I blame the deadly combination of cabin fever paired with the swift approach of Feb. 14th}.  {NOTE: It's not that I think anything's wrong with online dating, per-say; in fact, I've seen some great godly married couples {& sweet bouncing babies} come out of it - I just didn't think it was for me.}  Meanwhile back at the ranch {apt.}, a guy who lived about an hour away started e-mailing me through this dating site thingamajig.  Before I knew it {within days/before I returned to work from my snow days}, he proposed that we meet!  Say what!?  Okay, so it made me a crazy nervous lunatic as I prayed he wasn't one & questioned why I had agreed to such a thing!  The "date" was set for the day after Valentine's.  He would drive down & meet me at a coffee shop.  He even offered that I bring a friend, if that would make me more comfortable.  I opted to come on my own, but I had done my Nancy-Drew-like detective work beforehand {Googled him & found his Facebook profile} & alerted some folks of my planned whereabouts for the day & this guy's name.  Plus, the cup-o'-overpriced-Joe rendezvous place was not only tiny, but always bustling {&, above all, this girl had her God with her every shaky step}.  

So, somehow, on Feb. 15th {my blogoversary, actually} I got all dolled up & forced myself to get in the car & drive... oh, & to not veer off the bridge into the water.  {Did I mention, I was a nervous butterfly-infested fraidy girl?}  To make a long story short-er, it was uber awkward at the start {&, really, most of the way through}.  After minimal conversation in the coffee shop {where it felt like amused eyes were watching as they sipped their lattes at tables nearby}, I suggest we head to a nearby park.  We drive separately & meet back up to walk around the paths.  More awkward-ness, but I {at least} begin to feel better now that there's room to breathe & talk freely {without overly caffeinated prying eyes & ears}.  He was definitely a nice guy, but I didn't feel like he was the one for me.  I threw out what I thought were funny jokes that only seemed to scare the poor fellow - I guess he didn't appreciate me saying that the guy with the tinted windows who circled the parking lot twice as we stood by our cars talking, was an ex-marine sharp-shooter whom I hired for the afternoon.  I thought it was pretty funny.  And, no I didn't {hire anyone, that is - they did it for free (just kidding - mere handy coincidence)}.  I, in turn, didn't laugh when he pointed out a bit of leafy green in an otherwise bare tree.   He asked, completely innocently, as we walked under it what it was.  Was he kidding?  He sounded sincere.  I managed something to the effect of, "You know what that is.  It's mistletoe."  I then proceed to say, "Just pretend you never saw it," all mock-serious like.  Not even a hint of a smile on his part.  La te da!

I've had several misadventures in my day {& more to come, I'm sure}, but I've learned that this life is not to be put on hold until everything falls into place {I don't believe it ever really does, for that matter, this side of heaven}.  Life does not begin after "I do."  It has already begun & time is precious, sister!  The world will tell you {sadly, some well meaning church sisters & brothers (& family) may express this, too (forgive em, they're just fellow human imperfection)} that you're an outsider, a paranormal freak show, you name it because of your relationship status & the fact that you're not clamoring after guys in order to become a plural over a single.  I know you've heard it before {but it really is true}, God's got this whole thing already figured out.  Stop fretting {easier said than done, I know, so try real hard}.  He's good & knows what you need & the desires of your heart.  In the end {& in the beginning, too} only He can fully satisfy your soul.  Jesus is your completer, not some lovely, but fully flawed male creation.  Just saying.  Go, live your life, take the trips, write the books, plant the gardens, start the businesses, go on the mission trips, jump off the high dives, try, fail, & get up again, fall in love with Your completer & redeemer.  Your life is already ticking, don't wait for a lover of your soul to come around - He already has & His name is Jesus.  If God brings a guy into your life as you're out there imperfectly living it for Him, it'll be an unexpected blessing.  If He doesn't {& either way}, He will be enough.  There will be harder days when it doesn't seem fair & loneliness hangs heavy, but even then He is enough.  Keep on going, single sister.  There is adventure & love to be had in Christ.        

So, I live this singular life, hoping/praying every once in a while, that a guy lurks {okay, hopefully not lurks} out there somewhere who will send me flowers & call me beautiful & hold my hand & heart & adventure this journey with me & who loves God first & me second.  Only God knows who, when, where, how, & if.  Come what may, I'm living, cause Christ is enough!

Love in the Singular,

-Bess-

P.S.: For more {from me} on this & other similar topics click here & here.

“$10 Great Dates” Book Review

$10 Great Dates by Peter & Heather Larson and David & Claudia Arp

Okay, so first off, this book is created with married couples in mind. While this is certainly not the current season of life for this oh-so-single girl, I thought this book would be an insightful resource to tuck away for the possibility of later {A girl can hope & dream, can’t she?} or possibly gift to one of the couples in my life. So, with that in mind, let me tell you about the book…

I think it's fair to say in this expensive fine-dining-overpriced-movie-ticket age, that a complete date for $10 is pretty amazing in itself, which also attracted my sense of frugality {cough, cheapness} to this title {not that I intend to be paying for my dates (unless I am wearing a wedding ring & planning the outing myself), but the chance to be thrifty excites any true money saver type}. So, can you go on a date for $10? Yes, this book shows you how to do just that 52 different ways!

This book is not intended to be a sit down, read it cover to cover self help guide, but more of a guide book to peruse & pick & choose what’s most intriguing {i.e.: matches your interests as a couple} for you & your partner. There are 8 categories dividing up the different types of dating opportunities {each category has at least 5 actual (& unique) dates}. Some of the categories include: Adventure Great Dates, At-Home Great Dates, Marriage Pick-Me-Up Great Dates, & Romantic Great Dates. Each date gives the reader Before & On the Date pointers {such as things to plan for, etc.}, Talking Points to get the communication going, & a Great Date Takeaway {sort of a final thought to take with you & help strengthen your relationship with your spouse}. There is also a section on Cheap Child Care Options for those married couples with children.  Some of the dates I'd love to go on someday include: Yellow Brick Road Great Date, Time Travel Great Date, & Bucket List Great Date. 

In this hectic, often over scheduled, overpriced world, where dating is often thought of as a pre-marriage only luxury, I found this book to be refreshing in bringing to the "marrieds" - who are in as much need of dates as the rest of us - =) 52 ways to be intentional about being together {without breaking the bank, remortgaging the house, or dipping into the kid’s college fund}.

“Research reveals that dating can make a positive difference in a relationship. But here’s the catch: predictable dinner-&-a-movie dates have less impact than dates that stretch you & take you out of your normal routine. New experiences help you bond together & often result in a big payoff for your marriage.”
-$10 Great Dates



Bookish Love,
-Bess-

P.S.: I received this book for free from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

Encouragement for Us Singles {Today}

In all honesty, I've been struggling with singleness quite a bit here lately.  So, today, instead of wallowing in it, I'm trying to seek Him.  One way is by listening to the encouragement of others who have traversed the same winding trails...

If you, too, have been hurting in your single status, I now encourage you to take a listen to the podcast that can be found here.  I pray it gives you hope & courage for contentment & belief in our Mighty God & what He knows is best for us now.  He is faithful in each & every season.

Love to You,

-Bess-

An Announcement!

You know how I was sort of soul-searching a few posts back about blogging in general?  Well, I’ve gone & done it – I’ve started a new blog.  Don’t worry, I’ll still be blogging here at the Bag!  I’ve just decided at this point in my life I’d like to create a blog devoted to my life right now as a single girl {waiting on God’s perfect timing}.  This “diary” is a little more geared to young adult women {college age & beyond}, but as always everyone is welcome.  I just want a space to be honest & real about the challenges & achievements of the single life.  So, without further ado, click here to visit Diary of a Single Girl!

Love,

-Bess-

Being the Bachelorette

Be honest. Do you ever wonder one or more of these? 
Will a nice guy ever like me? 
Will I ever fall in love? 
Am I pretty enough? 
Why have I never been asked out? 
Is something wrong with me? 
Will I ever find ‘the one?’ 
Will I be alone forever? 


Truth Be Told
Let’s face it girls. Most of us can own up to pondering one or more of these questions that pop & sizzle in our brains & leave us feeling unsatisfied with where we are – in bachelorette-hood {picture me flashing a horizontal peace sign & looking fly {or something=)}. Okay, so bachelorette-hood may not feel that great – in reality, you may barely be able to muster a measly high-five to your fellow single girlfriends, let alone a “fly” peace sign. Okay, so what’s the matter with us? 


TV
 Hmmm… I blame TV. No, really. I do. At least partially. The majority of the media world works to convince us daily that a ‘relationship’ is a must.  You've likely heard of the "reality" show, The Bachelor/Bachelorette.  Each season 1 man or woman is chosen & dates multiple members of the opposite sex at once in search for 'the one.'  These contestants regard the relationship as the prize - & everybody wants to be a winner.  Sexual images ranging from what I call “sneaky ads” (such as a man & woman walking side-by-side with their hands in each other’s back pockets to a fully-dressed woman showing cleavage) to “out-in-out ads” (where nothing is hidden & it’s all out in the open, such as ads from Victoria-who-has-no-secrets) bombard us from magazines, billboards, internet, commercials, store-fronts, movies, & yes, TV, too. 


Three Little Hard Words
 What’s a girl to do in such a crazy, mixed-up, broken place? Guard her heart. I want to say from the start that this isn’t easy – it’s three straight-forward words, but this is going to be hard – not only because of our messed-up-priorities-sinful-self/instant-gratification world, but because of our own human nature & temptations. Just remember those questions you may have been asking yourself: “Why have I never been asked out?” “Is something wrong with me?” “Will I be alone forever?” While those are typical questions from many girls, they are also evidence to a girl’s vulnerability. Her aspirations to be loved, held, & desired {all completely normal God-given attributes} leave her vulnerable to that fact. If the vulnerability factor is present there is always the potential to stumble, thus guarding your heart is tough. 


The Snag in the Dream Catcher
 Let’s get even deeper in this, shall we? It’s true that God placed in us the desire to be desired & loved. Here comes the snag in the world’s dream catcher, though… wait for it… A human can’t complete another human or completely fulfill another human’s needs. You see, the worlds caught in a horrible, deadly game of trying to find fulfillment & completion in all the wrong places. Even ‘the one’ won’t be the missing puzzle piece to all you desire… You’ll still be wanting. 


 The Missing Piece 
The only way to complete your puzzle is by knowing the One who placed the desire to be desired in you in the first place: a true, real relationship with God, who gave up His beloved Son for you, & bought you at a great price when you were utterly undeserving & unlovable. It’s amazing, isn’t it? He is the creator & completer. Having the hunkiest, most devoted husband who kisses the ground you walk upon would not be enough on its own. You’d still be craving - something would be missing. What’s such a blessing {to us in the bachelorette-hood, in particular} is that a solid relationship with Christ is enough! A cute guy to hug, hold, & kiss us is not required. I promise. Guys fail, God never will. He knows you & every little detail of your life completely, He even knows & understands your desires. He even has a count on the strands of your hair! 


 Still 
 I hear some of you now quietly asking, “Then why am I still feeling this way & asking these questions? I love Jesus & know He lives within my heart.” Well, a missed-mashed variety of reasons, some we’ve already discussed, like the world presents sexual images to us on a silver platter that we must continually battle; sexual temptations (many arising from the images we see); our own human nature; peer pressure; comparing your bachelorette status to other girls in relationships with the opposite sex; love “awakened” before it’s time, which is extremely hard to put to sleep (spoken of in Song of Songs 8:4, “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” ). As you can see, this guarding your heart stuff isn’t easy. I hate to say I told you so, so I won’t, cause I’m right there with ya! What I know is this, even if you found a great guy today & started dating him, if you tried to make him the center of your life & existence, you’d be let down, disappointed, &, yes, you guessed it, wanting & waiting for the next flavor of the month – which you’d hope this time would be the magical fixer of all wants. If God is your center, you’re going to be okay, honestly. You have everything you need in Him, even when you don’t always recognize it. I love that! 


 Game Plan 
Recently in my own life I’ve decided to create what I’m calling my “Game Plan” to guarding my heart. I simply made a list {which can be revised & added to} of things I need to cut out or add to my life to help maintain sexual purity in mind, body, & spirit. Here’s some things from my list (hope you find them practical & helpful): 
-take a daily walk with God (this consists of me walking around my neighborhood & having an open conversation/prayer with my heavenly Completer in my head) 
-read a daily devotional (I added this in along with my daily Bible reading) 
-stop watching shows that portray any sexual innuendo (these are like the “sneaky ads” – they can seem completely innocent, but be corrupting you nonetheless) 
 -read godly resources that deal with guarding my heart (I am currently reading Every Young Woman’s Battle by Shannon Etheridge & Stephen Arterburn & I highly recommend it for teens & young women for its frankness & godly outlook) 


Finally
This confused highly sexualized world is a tough place for us Bachelorettes, but with the Lord in our hearts, a plan in place for keeping our hearts guarded in such a battle zone, tons of prayer, much practiced self control, & a strong desire to know & love God in all that we do with our whole self, we can make it safely & righteously into God’s plan for our life. It won’t be easy, but through His strength we will make it! 

Love to All You Fellow Bachelorettes, 

-Bess-

P.S.: Click here for a past Bess' Bag post on living fully in your bachelorette-hood.

To My Valentine...

Love Forever,

-Bess-

Mistletoe Misgivings

 

Remember the 'Dear Single Christmas Girl' post from last year {click here to read}?  Well, it's another year, another Christmas, & I'm still waiting solo under the mistletoe.  I don't know what it is about this year, but it feels harder somehow...  Perhaps it's going home to an empty apartment after watching couples holding hands at the mall & chivalrous guys opening car doors.  I just wonder is he really out there someone in this vast world... & if so, how will I ever find him?  Is he just a figment?  I need to go read that post again!  Hope you'll join me!  God is with us!  What am I worried about anyway?     

Christmas Love,

-Bess-

P.S.: Just keeping it real in this tough world! =)

Princess Style {H.R.H. Kate}

We may not agree with every wardrobe choice she's ever made, but H.R.H. Kate has created quite a regal collection of queenly picks!  

 

Of course, by now, you've heard the comparison  be made between Kate's wedding gown & Princess Grace Kelly's.  I see the resemblance, don't you?

Royal blue seems to be one of her favorite colors...quite appropriate, eh?

Royal Love,

 -Bess-

The Royal Wedding

There’s something magical & inwardly stirring about the word princess. The same is true, with perhaps slightly lesser rank, of happily ever after & true love… because, honey, you can be a princess with problems just so’s long as you’re a princess. =) Isn’t our {or mine, at least} thought pattern strange. Being a princess is not all fairy tale lights, glass slippers, & dreamy coach rides. In fact, it’s giving up much: other career aspirations, freedom to come & go as you please, to act silly in public on the occasion that you feel so, to do as you like… It’s sacrifice, not just grace; it’s bothersome, not just beautiful.


There’s an inner part of most every girl & woman that yearns for princess-ship. Something in the title calls to each of us by name with promises to sweep us off our feet & make us regal, beloved, special, dazzling, & worthy. But, dear un-common girl, you are all those! The King of Kings – the one true King, our Lord – gave up His most prized possession, His Son, Christ Jesus, for you… &, in fact, one day your Prince will come {for all those who accept His gift of sacrifice & become part of His royal line} & you will live happily ever after. Now that you know your story’s end, & that you are, indeed, a princess, live like one.

“Now if we are {God’s} children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.” –Romans 8:17


Love,
{H.R.H.} -Bess-


Did you watch today’s royal festivities with Kate & William? I did in the wee, unkind hours of the morning – that seem least regal. Wasn’t H.R.H. Kate’s dress queenly modest & divine, & her in it? It was all sweet & lovely – from the little girls holding Pippa’s {Kate’s sis} hands, to the royal double kiss on the balcony, to the scripture read {from my favorite book of Romans}, to the choir lads young & old, to the push to get the ring onto the now Duchess of Cambridge’s finger {I do wish the Queen would have granted her the title princess, though – but she will forever be}. Here’s some of the highlights in case you missed it…


-bridesmaids & pageboys enter Westminster-




-Princess Catherine enters Westminster-




-walking down the aisle-




-royal vows-




-carriage ride-




-kisses on the balcony-

"The Truth About Dating, Love & Just Being Friends" Book Review

Hey girls, I've got a book to recommend...

The Truth About Dating, Love & Just Being Friends by Chad Eastham

Yep, that’s some long title Eastham thought up, huh? It’s even longer if you look past the three little dots – okay, here’s the entire title of Chad Eastham’s book: The Truth About Dating, Love & Just Being Friends… & How Not to be Miserable as a Teenager Because Life is Short, & Seriously, Things Don’t Magically get Better After High School & Lots of Other Important Stuff, But We’ll Get to that Later… That sums up the book pretty well, however. It’s a tome geared toward teenagers & young adults (the Milleys, as the author calls us – those in the Millennial Generation (born anywhere from 1980-2000))…those in middle & high school are the main target, though, I’d say. I’m an older Millenial, myself, but I have to say, I truly enjoyed reading the relationship advice & wisdom found in Mr. Eastham’s pages. He puts things clearly, truthfully, & with godly encouragement (though in a non-pushy way, which makes this book great for a non-believing friend you want to witness to)… Oh, did I mention he’s quite funny, too? Well, he is – so you won’t be bored reading about “Dating, Factoids, & Quark-Gluon Plasma” (one of his chapter titles). He’ll hit you up with some of the strangest facts ever – seemingly unrelated to dating, relationships, & love on the surface – but he takes you deeper, & you come from the book not only better prepared for the relationships of life (friendship & romantic) but also smarter. For instance, did you know coconut liquid is a universal blood donor? Yep, Chad’s made me one smart girl. I love how in the chapter entitled “Why This Book Could Be Stupid” (stay with me here), he humbly explains that this book can’t answer all the complexities of relationships – you need to use what you know, too, & keep learning. Chad doesn’t have all the answers (as he’s confessed) - only God does – but he undoubtedly has wisdom teens & anyone else willing to read can glean from. From advice on how to tell whether someone from the opposite sex is attracted to you, to the myths of “just being friends,” to answers for our vampire/zombie/werewolf/weird obsessed culture… Chad helps guide you through the often crazy waters of relationships with a God-loving voice.

*I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publishers through the BookSneeze program, in exchange for my honest review.

Bookish Blessings,
-Bess-

The Single Girl's Guide to Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day… is it a day you circle with a big red heart on the calendar or do you cross it out, hoping to erase it from reality? Do you feel hopeful or depressed when little cupid decorations begin to hit store shelves? If you’re a single girl this Valentine’s Day it can still be special &, dare I say, even wonderful?! Really, singlehood isn’t a terrible curse. It isn’t leprosy or a ball & chain you wear. Honest, even on February 14th…


1. Wear a cute valentine-y outfit.
Whether it’s a red dress that usually sits in your closet {lonely}, a cozy pink sweater you just love paired with a romantic maxi skirt, or adding a pair of heels & a heart-shaped ring to your normal attire…sprucing yourself up extra snazzy can make you feel good (no boyfriend required=). I think I’ll wear something special to church this year + on Valentine’s Day. Need some attire inspiration? Check out my Valentine Wear Guides!


2. Eat candy!
Hey, chocolate is just as scrumptious whether it’s from a mom or dad, friend, or even yourself! Go ahead & treat you! NOTE: Caramel chews received from boyfriends aren’t sweeter. It’s been scientifically proven. =)


3. Write a love note to your heavenly Father + future husband.
I started this tradition last February 14th {the day before I started this blog, actually}. It was really special {& made me feel special & loved} to write a love letter to my first & truest valentine…God + to the man who will one day hold my heart where my Father dwells.


4. Watch a clean romantic flick.
Pop some popcorn & go here for a list of some of my personal favorites!


5. Love your family & friends.
Hug ‘em & kiss ‘em! Let those people in your life know how much they mean to you {& don’t forget to thank God for them}. I always make little goodie bags for my folks & pals. Yep, I may not be attached romantically, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t special people in my life {who deserve candies & cards}.


6. Dance around & worship.
Shut the door to your room, turn on some great music, & praise God. And, yes, you can dance on Valentine’s Day with your Heavenly Daddy & King.


7. Get crafty romantic style.
Get creative & make stuff with ruffles, bows, silk flowers/petals, etc.


8. Read the 1 Corinthians love verses.
You’ll find them in chapter 13.


9. Do things for others.
Love truly puts others first. So, this Val Day choose to go out of your way for somebody. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, visit the elderly at a nursing home, send a card to a widow at your church, present your mom with a bouquet of flowers, & show God’s love to those around you.


10. Be thankful.
Yes, you really can do this. Just think, you’re God’s princess, right? He sees you when you first wake up – crazy hair & all; He sees you when you mess up & say the wrong thing; when you walk out of the restroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe; when zits pop up on your chin & you think you’ve really got leprosy & need to pack your bags & head to a quarantined island where you can bond with your fellow sufferers; when you look in the mirror & feel un-lovely; when you do bad things – He sees everything… And, you know what, He loves you despite all that. In fact, He loves you more than anyone on this whole big planet/universe/you-name-it ever can or will. It doesn’t matter that you look rough at 6:30 am, that other guys don’t give you a second glance, that you do things that aren’t pretty, even that you do things against the One who loves you the most. He still loves you – unmerited, unchanging, & un-this-doesn’t-make-since (okay, so I made the last one up, but it’s still true). God loves you & calls you His beautiful girl. Yep, I can be thankful this Valentine’s Day – there’s no worry will so-&-so like my outfit, will he like the card I got him, will he reciprocate my feelings, what will he think about these puffy eyes I’m sporting? Nope, I’ve got it good. Really.


Love You,
-Bess-

Dear Single Christmas Girl,

I know you…forced to hold your own mittened hands to keep them warm. You walk wistfully under suspended mistletoe & let out a small inner sigh… I know you, because I’m you, too.

Christmas & other holidays can be especially trying on the single girl’s heart. So many secular seasonal songs that blast over the buzz of shoppers & invade our radios tell us that being with someone at Christmas is downright required for true happiness. Take a look

“When we finally kiss goodnight/ How I'll hate going out in the storm!/ But if you'll really hold me tight/ All the way home I'll be warm” (Let it Snow).

“My world is filled with cheer, and you/...And as I look around/ Your eyes outshine the town, they do/This Christmas” (This Christmas).

“I'm just gonna keep on waiting/ Underneath the mistletoe…/ Baby all I want for Christmas is you” (All I Want for Christmas is You).

I want to stick my tongue out at singlehood (& these songs, too=)!
Take a peek at what the Bible tells us…

The Lord appears to Joseph in a dream instructing him to take Mary as his wife as planned, because what is done in her is of God. Matthew 1:23 reads, “‘The virgin will be with child & will give birth to a son, & they will call Him Immanuel’ – which means ‘God with us.’” This Christmas you may feel un-chosen, lonely, not special, or unworthy of a guy’s second glance, but know this & consider it deeply in your heart this year: the Maker of the universe & all things, the King of Kings, Mighty God, Heavenly Father loved (insert name) so much that He gave you a piece of Him on earth – a piece that would be like (insert name)…tired, hungry, tempted, sad, excited, disappointed, happy, lonely… a piece that would be beaten, abused, mocked, & crucified, just so (insert name) could have the opportunity to know real peace & be with Him forever. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never heard of a truer love than that! It makes the lyrics above seem like mere meaningless mumbles.

Listen to what this song tells us…



Did you catch that lyric? “How many gods have poured out their hearts/ To romance a world that is torn all apart” (How Many Kings, Downhere). God is still with us today, loving us in spite of us, & seeking our love so that we can experience eternity safe from pain, hurt, & free from all the tears of this earth & the afterlife that scorches. Even if you are (like me) going through a boyfriend-less Christmas, remember “Immanueal…God is with us.” You may appear solo to the world, but if you are God’s you’re never alone.

Love & the Merriest of Christmases,
-Bess- + Her King, {Truest Love} Father God

P.S.: His love is perfect, immeasurably better than any mortal man's...just think How Many Kings...

Romancing a Beast -or- Looking at the Heart

Be honest, do you think you could love a beast? The story of Beauty & the Beast is an intriguing one. You’ve got the character of Belle, whose very name means beauty, & Beast, who, well, is one. In a nutshell, the stunningly lovely Belle finds it in her heart to look past all the…hmmm, what’s the word…Claws? Fur? Fearsome grotesque façade let’s say – to love him for who he is inside…& more importantly, for who he becomes when a kind & caring beauty melts his hardened heart. Ah, I love happy endings paired with enchanting romances! Now, fairy tale aside, how much does appearance truly count in a relationship today? Could you fall in love with a guy with scars, a skin disease, missing limbs, some handicap or deformity? Could you if you found you loved the man inside, no matter the outer shell he came packaged in? Or would his looks stop you from getting close enough to even find out? Let’s take it down a notch from there: What if the male simply didn’t fit the world’s idea of beauty?

When us girls think of our future husbands it’s normal to think handsome (i.e.: physically attractive) among other qualities we hope to find in our mate. Some even go so far as to have a list with items desperately seeking future checkmarks, such as these specifics: dark hair, tall, ruggedly handsome, etc., etc. But, are those qualities vital or even valuable? Do those types of physical qualities mean quality? Think of Gaston, he had all the above, but his inner self was pompous & I’d say truly beastly. Belle saw through his good looks & refused his affection because what she saw in him wasn’t attractive. Smart girl. But, today are we so smart or, perhaps the better word is wise? I love this verse from the Bible & I think it fits the story of Beauty & the Beast perfectly:

“God does not see the same way people see. People look at the outside of a person, but the LORD looks at the heart.” -1 Samuel 16:7

You know, as we strive to become more & more like Christ (even though we’ll never reach that level doesn’t mean we aren’t supposed to try), seek to see people’s hearts & not get caught up in the wrapping they’re in; you never know, the heartbeat behind it could be a match for your own. Look for the inner qualities that truly show quality in a person/mate, such as…
Christian Leadership
Integrity
Gentleness

Click Here For More

Lots of Love,
-Bess-

Don’t judge a book by its cover. -Author Unknown

Summer Love

When I was younger – say 13 or 14 & on up through my teen years – each summer brought with it the promise of a summer vacation, & with that, came the possibility of a summer love (at least in my mind). Yes, I thought, or more like dreamed, that on one of these (typically week-long) family excursions I would meet someone poolside (cause that was the perfect spot) & experience a whirlwind romance. I blame tv for this! I think I’ve watched more than a couple shows where the writers thought this a great premise. So, prior to each trip I’d meticulously pack with romance heavily on my mind…flashback: Hmmm, I could need this fancy top. Oh, & definitely those dangly (clip on=) earrings; they’d look great with my swimsuit. Make-up was even worse…flashback: I’d like to have that perfume along if I meet ‘the one.’ I need that shiny pink lipstick, that gloss, oh, & that sparkly body glitter + eye shadow combo. I look back & see that I was crazy (& I blame tv). But, then again, what’s so loony about wanting to be loved & wanted by another? That’s normal human behavior 101, right? Right.


I guess you’re wondering if I ever did meet someone. No. I’d don my glittery face & my high heeled sandals & dangly earrings, & no one seemed to care (accept my aching feet & ears (clip ons hurt like crazy)). Summer vacation after summer vacation, I was left disappointed & wanting… This reminds me of a Bible story. You know, the one about Jesus & the woman at the well…(John 4:1-42) The woman was a Samaritan, & Samaritans & Jews just didn’t mix, but Jesus spoke to her anyways as she came to draw water. Samaritans & Jews were sorta like hunks (or males in general) & me at the pool. Jesus spoke to her because He cared about her. We learn that this “lady” was wanting too, when Jesus shares her life story with her, “…you have had five husbands, & the man you now have is not your husband.” (John 4:18). Yep, it sounds like this Samaritan woman was truly wanting, but everything (or everyone) she found to satisfy her didn’t last or fulfill…she was still thirsty for more…nothing satisfied. Jesus offers her the greatest gift & what she needs as they talk by the well: “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:13-14). Through accepting Jesus Christ (the Living Water) & becoming new through Him she could find that which would fill her up for good. Through Jesus her life & lifestyle could be changed, & more importantly her eternity.


You know, even though I still haven’t had the whirlwind romance poolside (or otherwise) that I used to dream of, I have a true love in my God, just like the Samaritan woman, who by the way, went back & told her whole village about Jesus…& through such led many to believe. Amazing! I think about those days when I would pour my all into my appearance & what I put on my body – then I think about the things I pour my all into today - & I wonder why more times than not I haven’t given God so much enthusiasm, time, & love. It’s time to stop & take a visit to the wellspring for refreshment & redirection.

Taking time to pray & just talk with the Father about your struggles & dreams is a great place to start; He loves to hear from you! Ask Him to help reignite your passion for Him; let your Heavenly Daddy know you want to give Him everything & serve Him with your life. Ask Him for guidance & direction, & for help when your mind slips to other things & you soon find your whole self consumed with your new recent obsession. Nothing will ever fulfill you like a true relationship with Jesus, if you try others things instead, you’ll find yourself in the same spot as the Samaritan woman prior her change of heart at the well, thirsty & still wanting. I know you’ve likely heard this message many times before – you know, the don’t be lonely for a boyfriend, cause God’s your truest love – well, it is completely the truth, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. When, you find yourself like me, feeling like a vacation beauty queen wanna-be with no secret admirers in sight, just remember God is with you. He calls you beautiful even when He’s seen all the wrong stuff you’ve done; let’s face it the Don Juan you meet at the pool wouldn’t. He knows when you feel lonely & hurt, & He understands & cares &, yes, loves you beyond description. Here’s another thing, if you haven’t found all your fulfillment in Him – cause you haven’t accepted Him as your Savior yet (see Good News tab) or still cling to parts of your life & haven’t given total surrender & commitment to Him, how do you think you’ll ever find the true satisfaction for your thirst with a mortal man who’s full of mistakes? If the only perfect One, God, can’t satisfy you, how could a so imperfect male? Know that God is the truest love you will ever have. He knows so completely every detail about you, after all, He made you; & if that weren’t enough He shows the true depth of His love in the giving of His Son, Jesus, who He gave to die upon a cross so that we would not have to be separated from Him. Yes, that’s the true stuff that quenches the thirst in your heart for good. (So much better than a poolside fling!=)


Love From the Imperfect, Though No Longer Thirsty,
-Bess-

Purity & Romance Month Official End

Drum roll… Here it is, the official closing ceremonies =) of Purity & Romance Month here at Bess’ Bag! I have to say it seems like it’s been a long winding journey, but I’m sad to see it go. However, because you girls loved these posts so much =), I’ve decided to continue to let more of these type posts pop up (like bright little flowers to cheer you on this road of wait) every now & again. So, it’s goodbye, but not goodbye forever.

I want to take a moment to say, to all my beautiful readers & sisters-in-Christ, how blessed I feel when I read all your kind thoughtful comments! I’m incredibly grateful that Christ can use this too often stumbling daughter for something good. It is only through Him that anything here has any value. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the sweet little messages you’ve left here letting me know that something has blessed, encouraged you, or made you feel not so alone. That is such an encouragement to me! I love you all, dear sisses, & you all have a spot in my prayers! =)

The amazing Amber, one of my beloved sisters in the Lord, wrote a simply beautiful short story on the theme of purity & waiting. I so hope you’ll check it out (click the link below) on her newest blog, “Noble Notions” – the story is titled, Until I Say ‘I Do’. Thanks, Amber, it is such a sweet bit of writing. I love it!

LINK: http://noblenotions.blogspot.com/2010/07/until-i-say-i-do.html

Lastly, I want to invite you all, as it is the official farewell to Purity & Romance Month, to take some time & decide whether you want to make a personal pledge to remain pure in mind, body, & soul – saving yourself for marriage & striving to maintain pure thoughts & actions. No, I didn’t create some generic form for you all to fill out, but I encourage each of you to reflect & come up with your own pledge – just for you (if you so choose, which it is my earnest prayer (for you) that you do=). If you decide to join with me, & make a commitment to yourself & your Heavenly Father God, I invite you to leave a comment with your name, or if you feel like sharing, your name plus your pledge would be great, too. Whatever you decide to do, I pray that some of these posts over the last month (& some of this month=) have been a blessing & encouraged you to think about God’s plans for you in this special area of your life! Remember, whether you are remaining vigilant in your long held stance, just starting out on this road with still some uncertainty, or reclaiming your lost purity today…God has a plan for you. Whether it involves the love of a man or not, His love is the greatest you will ever find. He most certainly knows all those desires that bump around in your heart & He will take care of you. After all, He understands you better than any boyfriend or man ever will! Trust Him to take care of you: what you’ll do in this life (yes, Bess, or should I say Miss Jobless=), where you’ll live, & whom you’ll love. Trust Him with your heart…after all, He formed every bit of it, Himself.

Love You All Lots,
-Bess-

P.S.: Sorry to report there will be no Tuesday Tip or Tutorial today. I’ve got a new July/summer schedule planned. I’ll hopefully get more to you on that soon! =)



Bess’ Pledge:

I will commit, from this moment forward (July 6, 2010), my utmost to keeping a pure mind, body, & heart. I will fight the temptations that seem to be conspicuously paraded in this life. I will battle the devil’s snares bravely with the Lord always before me, as my King & army general. I will strive to be a godly young woman who waits patiently & happily for her possible future Prince Charming/Warrior/Knight-In-Shining-Armor/Hero. =) I will not merely sit around & wait for my possible earthly man, but actively do God’s will & live His adventure. (I can’t wait to live more of it!) In all this I will seek to become a godly woman who is beautiful in the sight of the Lord (& my future mate=). While I am striving to be God’s best – His winsome princess - I will pick myself up when I make mistakes & utterly fail, knowing that Jesus’ blood washes me clean again, if I but earnestly ask for it. In all these, I will maintain prayer for all to be done as listed above. My God guide me always!
-Bess-

P.S.: I've come a long way from chasing a man down in my car & falling for an ungodly guy on public transportation! =) (Me talking to myself, "Oh, Bess...")

I'm looking for the one with the right key, who I can serve God with...