P & R Month Update

Hey girls! I thought I would be all through with my Purity & Romance month by the last day of June...but I’m not! I still have a few more posts I want to share with you all. When I polled you gals on your favorite posts my Purity & Romance ones won out with the most votes, so we’ll just say that’s why I’m bringing P & R month into the first part of July (sadly, the truth is I just got very busy & ran out of time – I’m just not able to squeeze it all in there). So, for the first few days of July, I’ll be wrapping up Purity & Romance month…& don’t worry, since you all like these so much I’ll be sure to fit some more of these type posts in the future. One more thing, thank you BIG time & majorly for all your kind & thoughtful comments! My busyness has made it hard to respond to all your notes, but I appreciate ‘em tons. I LOVE when you share stuff with me & let me know a particular something blessed you or made you laugh, etc. I am SO blessed to have all you girls – my sisters-in-Christ – in my life! You’re such blessings & I think you’re all beautiful! Yes, you!

Love From the Frazzled & Busy,
-Bess-

P.S.: Hopefully more posts tomorrow! July could possibly be just as romantic a month as June. =)
P.P.S.: I wonder what did possess me to share my diary? What was I thinking?!

Tuesday Tip: Watch A Good Clean Romantic Flick!

I don’t know about you, but I love a good love story. It’s just so hard to find a clean romantic flick! Here’s some I’ve found – I’ve watched all these & recommend ‘em. Those with asterisks* are faith-based. So, pop the popcorn & find a comfy place on the couch! Tissues are optional.

Little Women (my favs are the 1949 & 1994 versions)
Anne of Green Gables (& the other Anne films)
Belle & the Beast: A Christian Romance*
The Love Comes Softly Series*
Though None Go With Me*
Miss Potter
Meet Me in St. Louis
Tammy & the Bachelor
Tammy Tell Me True
Tammy & the Doctor
Brigadoon (1954)
Under the Greenwood Tree
The Princess Diaries I & II
Tuck Everlasting

Don’t forget those happily ever after animated Disney films from your little girl days. Many of Jane Austen’s novels turned to film are clean, as well.

Enjoy!
-Bess-

In July I’m planning a movie night where I’ll show one of these flicks here! Stay tuned!

P.S.: I know there are lots of other great clean boy-meets-girl movies, but I’m too tired to think of any more. =) A giant THANK YOU to all who prayed for my interview today! It went great! Even though I don’t know the outcome I’m still praising God. I’ve even begun to praise Him for my job – even though I don’t have it yet, know where it will be, or when He will provide…I’m just already praising! Thank You, God, for helping me today & for whatever job You have in store!

Love Isn’t A “Battlefield,” The Mind Is

Some weird 80s song (the retro secular hit “Love Is a Battlefield”) tells us love is like some sort of war zone? I personally don’t get it…&, furthermore, don’t think real love (that God-intended great stuff) is meant to be like combat. So, you can put up your camo gear now girls (Oh, wait, is that a current trend (Bess rolling her eyes at herself)? Well, maybe keep it handy…just in case.). You know where I think the battle truly rages? The mind. Yes, that brain God gave you that just won’t stop thinking about all sorts of stuff…the good, the bad, & sometimes the ugly. You know, culture & even sometimes church tells us that the guys are the ones who struggle with keeping pure thoughts. Remember that Bible verse I used in another post? Let me refresh your mind: (Jesus speaking here) “You have heard that it was said, ‘You must not be guilty of adultery.’ But I tell you that if anyone looks at a woman [or man] & wants to sin sexually with her [or him], in his [or her] mind he [or she] has already done that sin with the woman [or man].” Here’s honesty for you, we females can be just as guilty about this as the guys, even though they may be wired in a way that makes ‘em stronger targets for this sin. In the year 2010 it is so uber-hard for guys & girls not to fall into this trap – for one, the media shows us all sorts of impure things like it’s nothing (yes, & often they even celebrate it – ughh!). So, guarding of the mind is just as important for purity, as is guarding of the heart. Do you know this verse? “Finally, [sisters=], whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” Philippians 4:8. Even thinking about such lovely things as your future prince, or pure things as your future possible wedding day can get out of hand if you’re not careful. So, how do we guard our minds? Here’s some practical advice from your big (to most of you=) sis, Bess:

Prevention-
1. Don’t watch or read, etc. material that makes your mind wander.

2. Read (can be watch, too) pure & praiseworthy materials. Your Bible is a great place, of course. You might also try a devotional, Christian fiction, or faith-based flick.

3. Pray for God’s wisdom & help to guide you. Let your Heavenly Daddy know you want to keep your mind pleasing & pure.

Treatment-
If you feel your mind going to impure thoughts…

4. Pray! Ask God to help you fight this. If your thoughts have become impure ask for His forgiveness.

5. Get out some “noble, pure, admirable, praiseworthy…” book or movie to take your mind off your thoughts.

6. Take a walk…& remember Jesus is beside you. Talk to Him in your mind about stuff.

7. Listen to some Christian music & praise.

8. Get involved with some family stuff. Go play with your siblings or get a board game going with your folks.

9. Go outside & do something active.

10. Call a friend or relative who always makes you feel better &/or who you can encourage.

Whatever you do, don’t sit still & let those thoughts have time to consume much oxygen. It doesn’t take much for them to find your mind’s center stage!

Love Ya,
-Bess-

What A Character! Characteristics to Look For in a Future Mate

Self-Control

Loyalty

Respect

Humor

Kindness

Gentleness

Leadership

Generosity

Compassion

Honesty

Thoughtfulness

Humility

Trustworthiness

Hopefulness

Patience

Courage

Integrity

My personal top favorites are: humility, gentleness, kindness, & humor. Which ones really speak to you? Can you think of any others?

I love this older song, & I thought it was perfect for this post. I'm not sure the rhyme or reason for the winter scene used, but perhaps it can give you a feeling of coolness on this hot summer's day most of us are experiencing! Enjoy! Be sure to turn off my main Mixpod first! =)

Love Always,

-Bess-

Secret Diary Continued...

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness & wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” -2 Corinthians 6:14 NIV

This is a continuation of my last post “My Secret Diary: For Your Eyes Only” (I recommend you read that first if you haven’t=). So, remember my bus guy (J) who asked me to an awful movie, but was “open to suggestions,” whom I “politely” declined? As I said in the last post, it shoulda been the end of the story. I knew this man wasn’t a Christian because of the flick he suggested… here comes the but… But, he pursued me! I mean being asked out was huge in itself, but being pursued, now that was a whole other ball of wax! This guy was seeking me & my good favor. I felt wanted, special, & worthwhile to a guy. It felt good. So, somehow my “no” on the movie date metamorphosed into e-mails, phone calls, a lunch meeting, & a movie date (this one was PG). What on earth had happened & what was I thinking?!

I was charmed by this new feeling in my life. I was charmed by my pursuer. The charm was making my emotions a hazy mess! How much do I care for J? Could he be the one – my prince charming? (NOTE TO SELF: He did ride in on a bus, not a white steed. But, maybe his horse was getting re-shoed. Horses need footwear right?) Do I care simply because he cares for me? I told J early on that the most important thing he should know about me was that I am a Christian. I asked him what the most important thing I should know about him was – it wasn’t Christ. But, I still held on to the fact that perhaps I could change him.

Bess’ Handy Dictionary Definitions
Missionary Dating: dating a non-believer in hopes that you can change the other person (i.e.: lead them to Christ) while pursuing the relationship; also known as a bad idea!

Missionary dating – yes, they stuck a label to this thing – seemed perfectly logical in the moment (covered over with the charm). I mean, you try to lead people to Christ anyways…wouldn’t it be easier to try & lead your guy to the Lord? I could be meant to help this man & then we fall in love & live happily ever after! I prayed for God’s will & wisdom in this crazy feeling situation. I couldn’t rely on my emotions to grant me sound guidance.

During this time I felt a surprising closeness to the Lord. (I look back & thank Him, because without the feeling of His strong presence (which is constant, we just don’t always feel it), I could have done things I would have regretted.) I had never shared my faith so much. I had never stood up for Jesus against someone who looked upon Christianity as some optimist’s “fairy tales” (yep, he used those words). Though, hear me now, I don’t recommend missionary dating to boost your spiritual life. In fact, I think God used this time as a wake-up call to remind me I’m supposed to be sharing my faith openly…something I still find myself working on (you know, I've discovered that there are a lot of things we are lifelong learners at). On the flip side, it doesn’t always end up like this. In missionary dating someone’s gonna change, & you don’t want to find yourself on the other side of the coin skipping Bible studies & church to be with your ungodly guy – a deep pit I’ve seen many girls fall into. If I had truly been attracted head-over-heels with this guy, & let our relationship get deep, I’m afraid that could have easily been me. Yes, I now know 2 Corinthians 6:14 to be true.

On the way home from our movie “date,” (which I use the word loosely) as he walked me home, he reached for my hand & interlocked it with his. I looked down for a split millisecond at our intertwined fingers & then I yanked my hand out of his. (I laugh looking back! I hope no one I know saw me jerk my hand away from this man!=) This guy wasn’t for me. I didn’t know how to tell him so at the moment. He thought I was being shy or hard to get or who knows. But down deep, & slowly emerging, I knew this wasn’t my prince; he didn’t know my heavenly Father – he wasn’t even sure if He existed. He had said once that perhaps I could change him. As soon as he uttered those words something in me knew if any change came about it wouldn’t be for the right, real reason a change should take place. I didn’t want him to change for me, I only wanted him to change for himself. Soon after the movie date, he told me he wanted to be my boyfriend. Oh no, just when I’m figuring out it should be over between J & me! However, I held my resolve, & soon after that I told him I just wanted to be friends, if he even wanted that. I knew I could not have a relationship with a man who refused one with my King, the One who fills the empty spots. Yes, that man was just hoping I could fill some of his voids, but I would have failed him in that. I look back & smile so brightly just knowing I didn’t give anything away to this man. He didn’t get a single one of my kisses or even the smaller-scale intimacy of holding my hand!

I know some of you may not be convinced about this whole equally yoked thing, but I encourage you to read the Word & seek God’s guidance. Do you truly want a man who doesn’t know the Father; who’s sins still engulf & condemn him because he hasn’t accepted his Savior; who doesn’t have the hope of everlasting life; who can't lead your family in a godly way? Charm & selfish desire to be wanted can take over & blind ya – believe me, I know. I’m going to say a final note about this that I sincerely hope doesn’t make me sound like I’m talking out of both sides of my mouth. Some of you may know some happy godly couples who weren’t equally yoked at the start. I do, too. Here’s what I have to say… If you have someone you are interested in that isn’t a believer, but truly seems interested in knowing more about the Lord & is a general “nice” kind-hearted guy (that doesn’t invite you out to rated R movies=), & he wants to become involved with you - I say try friendship first (if at all possible) & encourage him to get to know the Lord: invite him to a group Bible study, church, etc. If he still hasn’t become a Christian after time, keep the friendship up, encouraging him in his faith (if you are just at the friendship level). If you’ve passed the friendship level, let him know you cannot be deeply involved & ultimately marry someone who isn’t a believer – show him the equally yoked Bible verse if you want to. Then, it can be in his hands to decide what he wants to do. If he doesn’t become a believer, say goodbye to him in a relationship sense. He can’t be your prince if he doesn’t know your King!

Love,
-Bess-

P.S.: J & I didn’t really remain “friends,” which is for the best in most of these type situations. After we became just “friends,” & school was out, we stopped riding the same bus, & life without phone calls, e-mails, nervous butterflies, secret smiles & charm seemed far away. I won’t say I never wondered what if & that I didn’t miss some of the excitement, but I can honestly say I felt good…just resting in God’s loving arms knowing I had done the right thing & listened to my Dadddy’s voice. I saw J on a couple occasions after, but they were just awkward times & I had to decline an invitation or two from him, but I’m so glad my prince (with the perfectly shoed white steed) who is in love with my King (then me) is out there & none of his kisses, hand holding, or anything else have been taken by another.
P.P.S.: Do you like my equally "yolked" pun? Pretty cheesy, huh?

My Secret Diary: For Your Eyes Only!

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness & wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” -2 Corinthians 6:14 NIV

Okay, so I used to not exactly want to acknowledge this verse. I thought, well Christians can date non-believers…it’s like a mission field sorta thing, right? God’s called His followers to tell others the Good News, so a person could totally work that into her/his dating life. A believer could lead someone to Christ & find love! What multi-task-ness! That’s being a good steward of time, too! My rationalizations were completely flawless…in my mind. The only thing was I had never had the opportunity placed in my path to try my hypothesis out…having never been approached by a guy for a date, until one day in my 2nd year of college…

My diary from that day tells it better than I could. NOTE: I’ve never been great (or even good) at keeping a daily, weekly, or even monthly diary. I would start out with very good intentions & then by the 6th or 7th day skip an entry or two, & soon my diary would lay unopened gathering dust. However, whenever anything really exciting, amazing, extraordinary happened, I would almost always write it in my dusty diary. During this time in my sophomore year of college it got a lot of use!

MORE BACKGROUND INFO: During my 1st two years of college, I rode the city bus to school. (Let me tell you, if you really want an education in street smarts, etc. use public transportation, but that’s a whole boatload of other stories.) Words in italics are taken directly from my diary. When you see “…” that’s because I’ve skipped ahead a little (you most likely aren’t interested in every silly word I wrote, so I try to keep it moving=). Also, my punctuation isn’t that great – who knew I would dare share my secret thoughts for all to see, so I didn’t worry too much with commas when I wrote it.

So now, without further ado, my secret diary, which has never been seen by any other eyes except my own…

This entry was written a couple days after the events took place.

April 2007
Wednesday seemed normal at the beginning… I put on my new Proenza Schouler [from Target people=] hoodie & my dark green khakis. When I had woken up my hair had been parted on the side, so I left it, because I liked how it looked. I decided to make a short braid with the rest – unusual for me – but I liked the effect… I got on the bus, put in my $1.50, & went to my seat. Then, just as I was getting settled…a man came over & sat in the seat on the opposite aisle, across – this man was the one who days earlier when I couldn’t find one of my quarters for fare, & had asked if anyone had one, had came over & lay the coin in my hand - & then the next time I had handed one back as seemed right to do – he spoke (he was the only other on the bus, except for the driver, the usual 2 or 3 already on, were missing) “Do you want to do something this weekend?” I think I gave a shocked look – at least wide eyes – but no smile. “I don’t know,” I said slowly. He mentioned a movie [it wasn’t a good one, which should have told me right then this guy wasn’t for me…but I was still in shock (that’s my story, at least)] I gave a wrinkled up look. He smiled or laughed or something. Then said, “I’m open to suggestions.” I believe I had said many “I don’t knows” by this time. I did not even know this man! His name was J*, I learned, but nothing else. I told him my first as well. I told him I’d think about it & let him know. Why didn’t I just say ‘no.’ I blame shock [See!]. He went back to his seat in the front, saying, “I’ll give you your privacy.” [Something about that sentence makes me kinda cringe. Even then it did. I don’t know.] The rest of the long ride I had to pretend I was reading – I went many pages, but read nothing really. I had to keep a straight face [which wasn’t easy for me]. I couldn’t wait for my stop. I walked when I got out [I had quite a wait for my next bus which would take me to school.] – a drizzling sprinkle had begun, but I didn’t care... I walked around the block twice. The cold & rain not stopping me. I would have to give him an answer the next day, because Friday was Good Friday.

I waited the next day for the bus – I wanted to flee… I prayed God would help me do the right thing. I knew to say no; there were many reasons: Easter weekend, I don’t know him, I’m too young, he looks too old [He was a few years older than I.], I don’t know him, the movie he suggested I had researched it [let’s just say it really wasn’t good]. The bus came & I managed to keep my feet firm on the pavement. I got on… J said good morning, & I answered cordially. I waited for him to come back, & ask, but he didn’t. That was relieving, but I had to tell him; I didn’t know how. I pretended to read again, &...copy useless titles on an assignment page. I didn’t know what to do. It would be rude if I didn’t say. Finally my stop, my stop along with many others. I got up into the flow, past the back door which was closest, & headed for the first. I had rehearsed many ideas to tell him in my head: …”no”; “no thank you”; “thank you, no.” But when I passed [by him] I decided to say, quickly,”I decided no.” I had to say it twice. I think he might have said something, but I went down the steps & left the bus. Happy it was over. But, was that foolish. I didn’t care if it was.

I still don’t know what to do – this foolishness fills my thoughts… I’ll have to face this man everyday I ride the bus, unless he leaves. This is what comes of smiling at people – they get ideas. I was just being nice. What shall I do?

The Honest Truth
This little paragraph was written directly under the entry with a little line separating it from the rest:

Part of me wanted to say yes. Wanting to be wanted by someone. But I couldn’t. I don’t want to think about this... I’ve prayed God take it from me. Let me let it go.
*identity withheld =)

This should be the end of it right? Right! But, sadly it wasn’t…that last part of the diary entry explains why. I did learn a lot about 2 Corinthians 6:14 through this experience, though…however some of what I learned was what not to do.

To Be Continued...

And the Winner Is...Bridget!

After tossing everyone's chances into a hat, & having my ever-fair mom pick one out (without looking=), we have a winner....

Congrats, Bridget!

You are my 100th post giveaway winner!

Leave me a comment with your address so I can get the goods out to you (your address won't be published or shared).

Sorry about not posting this yesterday, but my mom & I went on a mini road trip to a great nature-y arts & crafts community a few hours down the road from us. We had a great time looking at all the unique crafts + checking out a few outlet stores. Everything looked so beautiful outside! There were absolutely tons of pretty pink, fluttery mimosas in bloom hanging across the road & in great bunches hugging the side. God is definitely the best artist of all! I was ready to burst forth with "For the Beauty of the Earth," but I refrained so my mom could keep her sanity. Yep, I try to be a good daughter. =)

Blessings,

-Bess-

P.S.: I wish I could give something to all my dear sisters-in-Christ! Thanks to all who entered & shared their thoughts on purity with us! I enjoyed reading all your comments (as always=)! You're all winners in my book!

Tuesday Tip: Plan A 1st Kiss Party!

Saving My First Kiss… Yes, the title says it all doesn’t it? Ever since I read a snippet of the book in a Brio magazine I was hooked! In fact, I began to “plan” my party right away...I’ll get to that a little later. Anyways, I had always wanted to buy & read the rest of the book, but fear stopped me. Cause ya know the people at the checkout are gonna know when I plop my purchase down that “Hey, this girl’s never been kissed before!” I imagined them stifling laughter. Perhaps they’d wait till I leave the store to let their giggles out (that would be kind=). And heaven forbid the cashier be a male, that would be the ultimate end – no way could I buy a book with such a title in front of a guy! My face would surely turn the color of a bright red Valentine’s heart (a token I feared I’d never receive). I know, I know who thinks this way? Who cares so intently what cashiers think? Well, I do, that’s who! So I did what any self-respecting girl would do, I broke down & bought it online.

Saving It...
I know there’s lots of thoughts on kissing – some say kissing during dating is fine, some say for engagement, others for marriage. The Bible doesn’t tell us: Thou shall kiss only when ______. However, kisses are precious & intimate. Would you want to give them away to lots of guys who later file out just as they filed in…solo, leaving you with a wounded heart & the memory of kisses wasted on someone who wasn’t “the one”? I totally respect those who have committed to save their first kiss for marriage…that will be another amazing gift to present to your husband. Likewise, I respect those who have given their kisses sparingly, realizing the importance of locking lips. I’m planning to save my first kiss for someone special who is hopefully the only one I will ever smooch, my knight-in-shining-armor.
If you’ve given your kisses away in the past without much thought, you can start today saving your next kiss for someone special, using discernment & prayer (which we all should do in all aspects of life).

What I’ve Learned…
You know, there are lots of things we “know” that don’t always register deep down. Things like God’s love & faithfulness, for instance, & God’s perfect timing, for another. Sometimes it takes someone else – perhaps even an unexpected source – to truly help us to “get it.” In Lisa’s book, her words were that for me, because she’s been right where I am. Now this doesn’t mean I won’t “lose” it again, but her reminder is such an encouragement. Now there are some things we don’t know & need to uncover… many times as girls, we think we’re the only one who feels a particular way – we’re outcasts, something’s wrong with us, we’re just not good enough, etc. The funny thing is, when we start to share, we find that we aren’t alone in our oh-so-exclusive feelings. There’s something truly encouraging about girls opening up. Lisa shares about waiting & wondering whether there's even a Prince Charming out there for her - feelings I know very well. I believe many times the devil encourages us to keep silent, so that we won’t uncover the truth that we are not alone in our struggle.

The Confession…
So, I’m admitting girls, that my lips are virgin… & you know what? I’m not always happy about that, but I know that I don’t want to have to tell my future husband that my lips have been kissed by countless others who have since gone by. I don’t want to give my precious, high-price kisses to someone (or someones) who later break my heart. I also know that God’s got a plan & that I’m planning a party!

Lisa’s Great Idea…
I failed to tell you the tag line to Lisa’s book is “Why I’m Keeping Confetti in My Closet.” Yep, that’s right, Lisa came up with the magnificent idea to have a first kiss party: a big ole’ celebration for when your lips finally meet that special someone’s! So, I’m planning a special get-together for one (me) for that special day…

What’s In Bess’ Closet…
In my party supply box in my closet I’ve got:
-a letter I wrote myself (sealed with a kiss, of course=) (In the letter I remind myself to keep my relationship pure, seek my Father’s guidance, remember my first & greatest love is God, etc. , & to congratulate myself on saving my first kiss!=)
-a package of Hershey’s Kissables (I found a small pink package of these at my local party/card store. I think they were to announce the birth of a baby girl, cause there were blue packages, too, but the pink looked cute with my “love” theme. The funny thing is, I’ve bought a couple of these now, & they keep expiring before I get my kiss! They just don’t have a long enough expiration date, & I just think, “God, can I find “the one” & get my kiss before these things expire again? Please!” Oh, goodness, like I’ve got the perfect timing thing God does!
-a note pad shaped like a pair of lips (I got these after Valentine’s Day on clearance – that’s a great time to find stuff.)
-a plastic tiara
-a party hat & noise-maker from the Dollar Tree
-a small puzzle featuring classic Disney couples kissing (I got this just the other day at my Dollar Tree. It’s a party favor for me!=)
-a bunch of other kiss-themed odds & ends (like confetti, stickers, etc.)

So, go plan your party whether you’ve never been kissed or your renewing your next kiss for someone special!

"Dreaming of True Love's Kiss"...
It's sorta hard to believe that Disney's Enchanted has something to say about purity. As you listen to this somewhat funny song, listen closely to the words, some of them ring very clear & true...& yes, I'm dreaming of true love's [first] kiss!



Another purity book I’ve read & can recommend:
Wait For Me: Rediscovering the Joy of Purity in Romance by Rebecca St. James

Love,
-Bess-
P.S.: Sorry this has seemed like a long post! I'm planning on sharing bits of my secret diary in my next post! Shhh!

Dating Rules

I have a very small (I’d call it semi-tiny) personal bank of experience in dating, but I do have some knowledge on the subject. As shared in a previous post (“Waiting, Dating, Courting…What’s a Girl to Do?”), I don’t think dating is something inherently bad. It depends on the how & why of it all. How are you dating? Why are you dating? At this time in your life dating may or may not be a smart option for you. However, if it is (& even if it isn’t & you just wanna read on=), I’ll be sharing some helpful tips with ya…

-Wear something modest, cute, & comfortable. Believe me, you don’t want to be fidgeting all evening because of a scratchy sweater or low-cut pants paired with a not-nearly long enough top.

-Try to reserve dates to godly guys you know pretty well. If you know their family, too, that’s another plus.

-Say a prayer before your date (for all to go well; for calmer, less fluttery, butterflies in your stomach; for safety; fun; & God’s will; etc.).

-Tell your parents (or if you’re older & they’re not close by: somebody) where you are going. That’s just elementary smarts. =)

-Don’t be afraid to be yourself! You don’t want a potential husband who doesn’t like you for you! Tell him you love math, play a mean game of basketball, or aspire to be a water colorist.

-Don’t accept an invitation over to a guy’s house until you know his parents will be present. Likewise, don’t invite a guy over if you’re home alone.

-I know some people say it’s no big deal when the door’s standing wide open, but I say don’t go into a guy’s bedroom & never invite one into yours. That just reeks with temptation & the appearance of evil (which the Bible tells us to flee from).

-The moment you know that this is not a guy you could ever see yourself being with forever in the sacred covenant of marriage, don’t go & accept another date. Break it off with him in as kind a manner as possible, letting him know that it’s just not going to work between you. Don’t put it off & string the hopeless relationship along forever, that’s not fair to either one of you.

-Guard your kisses. They are precious; don't just give 'em away as if they were commonplace! Refrain from uttering "I love you" to a guy until you are certain it's the real-forever-kinda love, perhaps when a ring's on your finger. Those words are precious, too.

-Have a pre-appointed phone person (I call it a ‘phone saver’) available to call & most likely pick you up from a date that’s headed the wrong way. I don’t mean an evening that bores you to tears, or when you simply unearth you don’t care for the guy in that special way as soon as he utters his first sentence, I mean one more like the one below…

-While on a date, if you feel scared or even weirded out by a guy’s actions or comments, & it just doesn’t feel right in the pit of your stomach, excuse yourself to the restroom & call your phone saver to come get you. Stay in the restroom until they get there (have them call you when they arrive), & don’t go back out to the guy.

-Don’t accept an open drink from a guy unless you saw him pour it from a new container & kept your eyes on it until it was in your hands. Also, don’t leave an open drink unattended & then come back & drink from it. Now, I don’t mean don’t accept a cup of lemonade from a guy at the church picnic. In reality, if we follow the steps above, such as reserve dating to godly guys we know, etc. we shouldn’t have much to worry about this topic or the one below, but I felt led to put these ones on here, because the statistics are scary, girls. If you don’t know the guy well (or he comes up to you at a restaurant, etc.) &/or you’re in a setting where you’re not in a group, I wouldn’t accept any drink offered.

-If a guy tries something physical – such as force you into his car, etc. – try to get away/run away, kick, bite, scream, &/or get the attention & help of someone nearby.

-If a guy gives you a line something like, “If you truly loved me you would [my words: do this sacred thing that’s to be saved solely for marriage, otherwise it leaves hard to erase scars, regret, shame, despair, & possible lifelong consequences] with me” let him go. If a guy pressures you to be intimate, you know He’s not what God has in store for you! Don’t you want a gentle & self controlled righteous warrior who’s willing to wait for you?

I got into some strong stuff in this post, huh? I hope you’re not scared out of ever giving dating a shot. It may or may not be God’s plan for you, but I hope this post has given you some helpful insightful thoughts!

Blessings & Love From Your Big Sis,
-Bess-

P.S.: In a near-future post, I’m unlocking my old diary for all my sisters-in-Christ to see! Darest I? Oh, yes, I darest? Who can believe I darest to use the word “darest”? =)

Here's a link to the "Dating, Waiting, Courting..." post: http://bessbag.blogspot.com/2010/06/dating-waiting-courtingwhats-girl-to-do.html

Enter My 100th Post Giveaway HERE

ONLY ENTRY COMMENTS ON THIS POST PLEASE
ONE COMMENT PER ENTRY

Rules:
This giveaway is open to girls worldwide! It will end on June 24, 2010 at 12 noon est time.

To enter…
Become one of my Gal Pals by following this blog & leave a comment on the “Enter My 100th Post Giveaway HERE” post sharing your stance & thoughts on purity. NOTE: It doesn’t have to be long; just a note explaining the importance of purity in your life.

Extra Entries: (NOTE: You must enter the above way first before you can enter any extra ways!=)
1 Extra - Blog about the giveaway on your site! Leave me a link!
1 Extra – Put one of my Purity & Romance “buttons” on your site. Leave me a link!
1 Extra – Put one of Grace’s Purity buttons on your blog. Leave me a link!

Don't know what this is all about. Look at the post underneath this one! =)

B.B.'s 100th Post Party!

I can’t believe it’s my 100th post here at Bess’ Bag! You know, I never thought I’d be a blogger, but it’s been such a fun journey with all of you! Thank you to all my Gal Pals, sisters in Christ, readers, & anyone who just stumbled upon this little spot on the Web! You girls are all SO special to me! =)

I have to offer a BIG thank you to my sweet & creative sis in Christ, Grace, who created purity buttons on her blog in honor of Purity & Romance month! I am very honored, Grace, you are an amazing daughter of the King! Click the link to check em’ out! I chose the 2nd one, but they’re all so beautiful it’s truly hard to choose!
http://gracesgardenwalk.blogspot.com/2010/06/purity-buttons.html

Let’s Look Back…
Bess’ Bag officially joined the blog world on February 15, 2010! Yes, the day after Val Day (perfect for our Purity & Romance theme this month).

Bess’ Bag now has 50 Gal Pals. I’m the 50th one! I thought it was about time. =)

Most Popular Post (By Way of Comments / Not Counting Awards Posts): With 8 comments each, it’s a tie between…
“Think Pink” & “That’s A Wrap!” Click the links to visit these popular posts!
http://bessbag.blogspot.com/2010/04/think-pink.html
http://bessbag.blogspot.com/2010/05/thats-wrap.html

These girls always have a great comment to make my day a little brighter: Grace, Amber, Shaynie, Jenna, & Moe! Thanks for being such faithful commenters, not to mention great friends!

My Favorite Post: (Oh, this is going to be tough!)
20! (I think this is it! Now if I could only remember all those things – I mean really remember ‘em)
http://bessbag.blogspot.com/2010/03/20.html

My Favorite Video I’ve Posted:
The Stranger Series: “Walk on Water” (This is one of my all time favorite shows!)
http://bessbag.blogspot.com/2010/03/jump-ship-30.html

Be sure to vote in the special edition poll in the sidebar on your favorite posts! NOTE: You can choose more than one!

-Bess' Bag Scrapbook-

Now To the Giveaway

One blessed girl will win…
-a stretchy bracelet I made (note the hearts on the ribbon, perfect for this month, don’t you think=)
-a joyfully “waiting” bookmark I made
-1 note card + 1 envelope of “fancy” stationary to write your future Prince a love note
-1 solid pewter “Purity” charm (this would look great strung on a necklace or bracelet, etc. – the word purity is stamped on the charm)

Rules:
This giveaway is open to girls worldwide! It will end on June 24, 2010 at 12 noon est time.

To enter…
Become one of my Gal Pals by following this blog & leave a comment on the “Enter My 100th Post Giveaway HERE” post sharing your stance & thoughts on purity. NOTE: It doesn’t have to be long; just a note explaining the importance of purity in your life.

Extra Entries: (NOTE: You must enter the above way first before you can enter any extra ways!=)
1 Extra - Blog about the giveaway on your site! Leave me a link!
1 Extra – Put one of my Purity & Romance “buttons” on your site. Leave me a link!
1 Extra – Put one of Grace’s Purity buttons on your blog. Leave me a link!

LEAVE ONE COMMENT PER ENTRY ON THE ENTRY POST.

Thanks to all my dear readers! I hope you can find some encouragement, truth, smiles, & fun here at Bess’ Bag! It's definitely been a real journey with laughter, tears, & all the in-between! I love you guys!

-Bess-

P.S.: Here's a couple goodies for all! Click the link to receive a free sample of Nivea Happy lotion (cause you gals make me happy=).
http://instoresnow.walmart.com/In-Stores-Now-free-samples.aspx

Get a free 8X10 collage print from Walgreen's using the code: GOBIG8X10. Choose "In-Store Pickup" to get it free! Hurry this is only good thru 6/19/2010!

Romantic Dress + MFW Days 3 & 4

I just love the mere idea of romantic dressing...with wispy fabrics & charming details! Ah, it's a lovely thing to know you can look romantic modestly - in fact, I think if you want to look romantically, you have to do so with a dose of modesty. Cause, darling, all romance is stripped away when everything's already revealed & no mystery is left unsolved! Sorry, that was your big sis beginning to rant, but I'll stop now to talk about romantic fashion!

Elements of the Look:

Use bits & pieces of these to add the look into your daily style or add em' all for an over-the-top romantic outfit...

-Cameos

-Lace

-Sheer Fabrics (with something underneath of course!)

-Pinks & Pastels

-Ruffles

-Satins

-Lockets (preferably in heart shape=)

-Florals

-Charm Bracelets

-Pearls

-My Romantic Picks-

Floral Cameo Statement Ring - Rue21 - $5.99
"Invitation Only" Fancy Pants Bag - www.kmart.com - $6.50
(on sale until 7/19/10)



Susie Rose Chiffon Ruffle Top - www.walmart.com - $9


Dripping Romantic Necklace - Rue21 - $7.99

-Some Romantic Polyvore Fun-

-Modest [Romantic] Fashion Week Days 3 & 4-

What I've Donned:

*pearl necklace - yard sale

*dress - Libertine for Target - Target

*clutch - made by me =)

*belt - J.Crew - yard sale

*oxfords - Timberland's - thrift store

What I've Donned:

*white tee - Xhilaration - Target

*lace vest - Pierre Cardin - thrift store

*jeans (rolled at cuff) - Circo - Target (from the other post=)

*gladiator sandals - Montego Bay Club - Payless

*charm necklace - made by me (you can't see it in the pic, but this has a knight charm in the center)

*cameo hair band (worn as bracelet - now that my hair is too short to put into much of a ponytail) - Dollar Tree

Love ya,

-Bess-

P.S.: I think this is going to be my last post for Modest Fashion Week. Just too busy! My next post is sure to be something special, though! Shhh!

Tuesday Tutorial: The Charmed Romantic Clutch

Just wait till you hear what this sweet little clutch is made from! It come to moi one day at brunch as I was eating a chocolate-covered strawberry & happened to lower my glance down to the lovely placemat upon which my gilded porcelain plate sat…okay, so that’s not how it happened at all…it happened at the Dollar Tree (my fav muse of a shop). When I picked up the fancy brocade-looking placemats at my local dollar store I knew I was holding the makings of a great bag…

Here’s What You Need
-1 fabric placemat
-sewing machine & thread (or needle & thread)
-decorations (I used ribbons, buttons, & charms)
-snaps (you could use metal sew-in snaps, Velcro, or even a zipper)
-hot glue gun (optional)
-felt (optional)

What To Do
Figure out how you want your clutch to look. For example: How big? How big of a flap do you want?


Once you’ve figured that out, fold it to how you want it, & sew along the sides. You can try to trace one of the stitch lines already on the placemat or just stitch down the side.


Sew in your snaps. CONFESSION: I haven’t added any type of closure to my bag yet!

Decorate your clutch. I used ribbons to create ruffled flowers, &, here’s another CONFESSION: I hot glued my flowers to a slightly smaller piece of felt, & then hot glued that to the flap of my clutch. I also added a bit of braided thread, on which I strung a charm bead + buttons that I added some metal rings & pink thread to. I then hot glued each thread end behind each flower.

Ta da! What an utterly charming romantic bag for an evening out…whether you have a date or not! =) I love that this clutch is nice & roomy, & you don’t even have to worry about a lining, since most fabric placemats feature fabric on each side! They’re good enough to eat on! =) I’m not sure if I’m completely done with mine or not…I might add more…hmmm…I’m not quite certain!

MFW Day 2: Flower Girl

“The grass withers & the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.” –Isaiah 40:8

Don’t you just love that? The truth will always stand; God’s love will always be there – unmerited & unearned. I have to confess, I’ve thought a lot about flowers…bouquets, to be precise. I’ve yet to receive a dozen red roses wrapped up in tissue paper, a bunch of cheerful daisies, or any bit of carefully arranged flora from a guy. I can’t even recall receiving a straggly piece of clover on the playground; maybe I’m suffering from a young form of dementia & can’t recall. =) Anyways, the truth is, those lovely expensive bouquets that make us girls go weak in the knees won’t last forever. Yes, no matter how carefully you water & prune, eventually those flowers are going to lose their petals, droop over, & fall. I’m so glad God’s sweet words will always be. He won’t go change on us, like some guys who give us roses one day & a message ending the whole thing the next. God loves us & we don’t even have to get dressed up, paint our faces, or splash on perfume. I think that’s why I’ve always loved wildflowers & the flowers that just seem to sprout up over the path – I like to think of those as small sweet tokens from my first love…my truest true love…my Father God, who will be forever.

*Note: I hope it doesn't look like I'm wearing some low top (underneath). I think it just might look that way in the photo (maybe it only looks that way to me), but I promise it's quite respectable. =)

What I've Donned:

*Linen Camisole (Worn Underneath) - ?; it doesn't have a tag - yard sale

*Beaded/Embroidered Sheer Top - Hollister - thrift store

*Shorts - Caribbean Joe - Walmart

*Pink Mules - Island Club - Walmart or somewhere like that / can't remember

*Petal Pusher Bag - created it myself (you can find the tutorial here: http://bessbag.blogspot.com/2010/03/tuesday-tutorial-petal-pusher-bag.html)

*Silk Flower Corsage Bracelet - ? - yard sale (I got it for free. They told me to just take it!=)

MFW Day 1: Cinderella & the Glass Sneaker?

I love the story of Cinderella. I mean, she’s treated terribly, but she doesn’t retaliate with the same ugliness that’s dished out to her. Her Christ-like attitude has always been something I have wanted to emulate, but sadly I haven’t always acted like a princess, a true Daughter of the King. At times in my life, I’ve been more like an ugly stepsister, unable to curb my anger when someone’s done me wrong…answering back with meanness, instead of kindness. “…love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who are cruel to you.” (Luke 6:27-28 NCV). Thankfully, the King, my Father, is forgiving. He even tells me I’m still His beautiful princess…& He’ll help me with my weaknesses. Now I have true hope that there will be a ‘happily ever after’ (forever) one day with Him. I just love happy endings!

What I've Donned:

*Love Birds Tee - Target (Val. Day Item) - yard sale

*Jeans (Rolled at Cuff) - Circo - Target

*Clear Sneakers - Melissa - I've had these for a long time (years), & I've rarely worn em'. I can't remember where I got them. They are pretty cute, I think I'll start wearing em' more! =)

*Covered Beads Necklace - Gap - yard sale

*Bracelets - I actually got these at perfume counters over the years. Sometimes, they'll have these little bracelets to spray a sample of fragrance on for free!

Modesty's the Policy

Samantha over at “Simple Delights” is hosting a “Modest Fashion Week” starting today, & I’ll be participating. I encourage you to go visit (click the link in my sidebar) – it’s not too late to enter!

Did you know that we girls have a great say over guys’ purity? “How?” you may ask. Just look down at what you’re wearing! How we dress effects guys greatly – that seems to be how they were wired-up. If a girl dresses immodestly, she can be affecting males all around…Christian brothers included…whomever she comes in contact with is at risk for lustful thoughts, which Jesus says is equal to adultery…an adultery of the heart & mind. In Matthew 5:27-28 (NCV), Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You must not be guilty of adultery.’ But I tell you that if anyone looks at a woman & wants to sin sexually with her, in his mind he has already done that sin with the woman.” Exposing yourself through clothing that is revealing, too tight, etc. can cause your brother to stumble. Why, as a Daughter of the King, would you want to be a part of that sinful equation? Sometimes the worldly logic tells us, “Hey, some guys are gonna lust after girls no matter what we’re wearing. Why change the way we look?” or even “That’s just what guys like. If we don’t dress that way we’ll lose the attention we’ve come to like.” Here’s what the Bible says, “Never do anything that might hurt others – Jews, Greeks, or God’s church… I am not trying to do what is good for me but what is good for most people so they can be saved.” (1 Corinthians 10:32-33 NCV). Some may even argue that it’s just too hard to find modest clothing these days, but I find that to be a very poor excuse. Where there’s a will there’s a way…I’ll be posting tips for a modest & cute summer coming up in the next few days. So, I encourage each of you to dress modestly, remembering that your body is a holy temple of God. And, since it is Purity & Romance month, all my outfits this week will have a romantic flair. Yes, even romantic can be modest!

Love Always,
-Bess-

P.S.: I want to applaud my sisters in Christ who are already making God-pleasing wardrobe choices! You girls are uber-fabulous! Hope I didn’t come on too strong with this post – I’m not taking back any of my stance, but I hope I didn’t sound too, I don’t know… I don't want to drive anyone away...with the truth.