Sunday, June 20, 2010

Dating Rules

Dating RulesFashion Trends & Styles - Polyvore

I have a very small (I’d call it semi-tiny) personal bank of experience in dating, but I do have some knowledge on the subject. As shared in a previous post (“Waiting, Dating, Courting…What’s a Girl to Do?”), I don’t think dating is something inherently bad. It depends on the how & why of it all. How are you dating? Why are you dating? At this time in your life dating may or may not be a smart option for you. However, if it is (& even if it isn’t & you just wanna read on=), I’ll be sharing some helpful tips with ya…

-Wear something modest, cute, & comfortable. Believe me, you don’t want to be fidgeting all evening because of a scratchy sweater or low-cut pants paired with a not-nearly long enough top.

-Try to reserve dates to godly guys you know pretty well. If you know their family, too, that’s another plus.

-Say a prayer before your date (for all to go well; for calmer, less fluttery, butterflies in your stomach; for safety; fun; & God’s will; etc.).

-Tell your parents (or if you’re older & they’re not close by: somebody) where you are going. That’s just elementary smarts. =)

-Don’t be afraid to be yourself! You don’t want a potential husband who doesn’t like you for you! Tell him you love math, play a mean game of basketball, or aspire to be a water colorist.

-Don’t accept an invitation over to a guy’s house until you know his parents will be present. Likewise, don’t invite a guy over if you’re home alone.

-I know some people say it’s no big deal when the door’s standing wide open, but I say don’t go into a guy’s bedroom & never invite one into yours. That just reeks with temptation & the appearance of evil (which the Bible tells us to flee from).

-The moment you know that this is not a guy you could ever see yourself being with forever in the sacred covenant of marriage, don’t go & accept another date. Break it off with him in as kind a manner as possible, letting him know that it’s just not going to work between you. Don’t put it off & string the hopeless relationship along forever, that’s not fair to either one of you.

-Guard your kisses. They are precious; don't just give 'em away as if they were commonplace! Refrain from uttering "I love you" to a guy until you are certain it's the real-forever-kinda love, perhaps when a ring's on your finger. Those words are precious, too.

-Have a pre-appointed phone person (I call it a ‘phone saver’) available to call & most likely pick you up from a date that’s headed the wrong way. I don’t mean an evening that bores you to tears, or when you simply unearth you don’t care for the guy in that special way as soon as he utters his first sentence, I mean one more like the one below…

-While on a date, if you feel scared or even weirded out by a guy’s actions or comments, & it just doesn’t feel right in the pit of your stomach, excuse yourself to the restroom & call your phone saver to come get you. Stay in the restroom until they get there (have them call you when they arrive), & don’t go back out to the guy.

-Don’t accept an open drink from a guy unless you saw him pour it from a new container & kept your eyes on it until it was in your hands. Also, don’t leave an open drink unattended & then come back & drink from it. Now, I don’t mean don’t accept a cup of lemonade from a guy at the church picnic. In reality, if we follow the steps above, such as reserve dating to godly guys we know, etc. we shouldn’t have much to worry about this topic or the one below, but I felt led to put these ones on here, because the statistics are scary, girls. If you don’t know the guy well (or he comes up to you at a restaurant, etc.) &/or you’re in a setting where you’re not in a group, I wouldn’t accept any drink offered.

-If a guy tries something physical – such as force you into his car, etc. – try to get away/run away, kick, bite, scream, &/or get the attention & help of someone nearby.

-If a guy gives you a line something like, “If you truly loved me you would [my words: do this sacred thing that’s to be saved solely for marriage, otherwise it leaves hard to erase scars, regret, shame, despair, & possible lifelong consequences] with me” let him go. If a guy pressures you to be intimate, you know He’s not what God has in store for you! Don’t you want a gentle & self controlled righteous warrior who’s willing to wait for you?

I got into some strong stuff in this post, huh? I hope you’re not scared out of ever giving dating a shot. It may or may not be God’s plan for you, but I hope this post has given you some helpful insightful thoughts!

Blessings & Love From Your Big Sis,

P.S.: In a near-future post, I’m unlocking my old diary for all my sisters-in-Christ to see! Darest I? Oh, yes, I darest? Who can believe I darest to use the word “
darest”? =)

Here's a link to the "Dating, Waiting, Courting..." post:


  1. Thank you for these rules/tips Bess. You have some wonderful pointers here, one's that my father has actually talked with me about. I feel so blessed to have a "Big Sis" like you... A helpful, thoughtful, and kind girl, who is always there for me! Thank you! :)

    Your Little Sis In Christ,

  2. I like all of these rules - they definitely sound like a good way to avoid getting yourself into ungodly situations! The only one I don't quite agree with is never let a guy into your room...if the door's open and other people (plural) are home, then I don't see the problem.

    God bless you!

  3. Thanks for your sweet comments, Jenna & Anneliese!

    Jenna, I’m so glad you’ve been blessed with a righteous earthly father! That’s such a huge blessing from the Lord! I’m SO very blessed to have all you sisters-in-Christ, too! I love you all!

    Anneliese, yes, that one rule about the bedroom…that’s why I put that little note in front of it, cause I knew some think it’s fine if the door is open & people are around. I’m not here to say whether you’re right or wrong. The tip I gave was just what I would do personally. I find bedrooms to be very personal spaces (even with the door flung open they can still be secluded spots). Bedrooms vary in size & furniture, too. I, personally, wouldn’t want a guy to be in my room, possibly sitting on my bed with me, etc. That’s a temptation slippery slope… even if in your actions & mind you’re totally innocent about the whole thing, there’s sadly no way to know what’s in the guy’s mind… I think it could be a major stumbling block for some guys & gals who are weaker in that area. To read more about stumbling blocks among Christian sisters & brothers I encourage you to look at Romans 14:1-21 (especially 13-15). I love when you guys share your real thoughts on the subject! =)


  4. Bess,
    I really enjoyed your post. And I agree with you completely there.I really admire you for what you are trying to do. Keep up the good posts!
    Your sister in Christ,
    Liz Darcy

  5. Fabulous post; thank you for sharing!

  6. those are all very good tips. and some of them ive never really thought about before. i love the layout of your blog. so cute and organized...and i love the vintage look! check out mine when you get a chance. :)


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